Thanks to a grant from Rice and IIT Madras, my PhD student and I had the opportunity to travel to Chennai and Bangalore to collect data, kick off a new project, host a workshop, and spend time in the literal forest that is the IIT Madras campus.

Two women in front of the IIT Madras front gate PhD student and I in front of the IIT Madras front gate during our most recent trip

What was truly interesting was watching my PhD student travel in India for the very first time. I’ve been conducting international research and fieldwork for nearly 20 years, and I’ve honestly forgotten the experience of starting that journey – especially as a newbie who has never lived in a drastically different culture or in a country that is still considered as “emerging” or “developing” in many respects (though, I will say that India has figured stuff out that we haven’t yet figured out in the U.S.). I thought it might be helpful to jot down some things I’ve learned about researching/working abroad and, over time, building up that global network of people you can call on to crash with when you find yourself in a place (a wonderful perk of knowing people).

But first, a few notes/caveats. The way I move through the world is based on what’s most important to me: people and the relationships I have with them. And this is just an outgrowth of who I am as a person: a social introvert who really loves people 1-on-1 but will white knuckle her way through large, loud events. I think this aligns with the temperaments of many young researchers and academics. Additionally, a key ingredient in building relationships like this is time – something that I had plenty of in my 20s, but something that I barely have right now.

Lastly, while relationships can help you understand a culture, gain access, or eventually make fieldwork easier, that should never be the point of them. If you’re lucky, your relationships outlast the work itself and shape how you move through the world.

So, without further ado:

Participate in ordinary life

These days, I just know people who live in a place, so I stay with them and fit into their routine. But a common theme throughout my early travels abroad was that I stayed with host families in their homes, in student dormitories/hostels, and eventually, my own flat with a roommate. I never stayed in hotels or expat hostels. Maybe this was a function of money (or lack thereof), but it was also a function of intentional cultural exposure. When you’re in a new place, it’s way too easy to either 1) hide in your room or 2) only hang out with other expats, so having a built-in social exposure with people who are actually from the area gives you a chance to participate in ordinary life rather than simply observe it.

There’s one host family in Bangalore that is particularly dear to me, and I still WhatsApp the older uncle from time to time. We were even able to meet in Michigan when he visited the U.S. Now, have I sat through long, awkward meals and tea times discussing and explaining U.S. politics to them? Yes, absolutely. But I’ve also gained perspectives and neat artifacts, like handwritten recipes.

A sheet of paper with a biriyani recipe written out by hand Host mom Ammini’s handwritten biriyani recipe, August 2012

Receive care

A general rule of thumb for an introvert is to get adopted by an extrovert (or a more social introvert; I do a lot of adopting), but I think this is even more important abroad. Basically, put yourself in situations where you meet others in your life stage. This could be a student group, church fellowship, or something else. Some people are going to be very friendly and will actually want to hang out with you. So let that happen. Go shopping! Go eating! Go to the beach and be confused about how people walk into the ocean fully clothed! Go crash the random wedding of a friend of a friend of a friend! (All of these things happened to me when I was visiting IIT Madras for a few weeks, staying in the women’s hostel.) Keep your calendar open, say yes, and let folks take you around town.

Of course, be careful, be a good judge of character, trust your gut, and don’t assume everyone has good intentions. I definitely leaned into same-gender relationships a lot more than cross-gender relationships, but that’s also how I navigated college (because sisterhood). Be open but also maintain your boundaries and stay safe!

Five girls sitting together Girls’ fellowship group at IIT Madras hostel (and the brother of one of these girls eventually became a graduate student at MIT – a small, small world), August 2010

Give care back

I think it’s important to remember that we shouldn’t travel only to consume (the research access, the experience, the personal growth) but also to give. What gifts and talents do I have that can help others?

Something I like to do for others is help them tell their stories and highlight their potential. I have outlined, drafted, and edited many personal statements and scholarship applications. A friend from India, whom my PhD student and I met with on this particular trip, was on the receiving end of this gift some 15 years ago. It resulted in a full-ride to Oxford for a Master’s program, which altered his trajectory. Whenever I’m in his neck of the woods, he will always ask for as much time as possible to catch up and discuss the most pointed questions about life. He even hosted me in East Africa, where he worked for a few years and where I conducted fieldwork. Basically, plant many of those seeds when you’re young, and some (but not all) may grow into flourishing, rest-giving trees.

Man and woman catching up My buddy, whom I met in January 2012 in the village of Hubli, Karnataka. We’ve seen each other through careers in international development, startups, graduate school, marriage, and early parenthood.

Remember that you are a guest

When I was in Bangalore, I had an American friend who was visiting from Harvard GSD. He was studying tech parks, and when he visited a few throughout the city, he was honestly surprised that his Harvard credentials would not get him through security. I rolled my eyes at the entitlement and was actually really proud of the security guards who just didn’t care about some foreign university.

I think it’s important to remember that as much as we want access to a research site, a story, an interview, or a person, people have real reasons to provide or not provide it. We have to understand what’s at stake for them. And increasingly, there is more suspicion of foreigners abroad. So be humble, try to be useful to your hosts, and accept the no when it inevitably happens.

My PhD student is just at the beginning of her journey. Even though she got a bit of a slow start, I was proud to see her say yes to help she would normally decline and accept a stranger’s invitation. That’s the whole skill. The rest is just time.